Why is it that some bi polars think they can get by without meds. Mainly...ME!!! No, really, I'm fine...I've moved close to my family now...I can handle things better now. Always an excuse.
I've just come off a two week hospital stay. New Dr. It's always hard to trust new doctors. I've had so many. This one seems to really know what he is talking about, and he seemed to actually pray about my case. Not that he totally trusted in God to tell him what meds to put me on, but I think he trusted that he made a decision, then prayed about the decision and actually changed it a couple of times until he got it right. No other doctor has done that. They always think they have got it right the first time and never tweak the dosages, or the meds. I left the hospital on three less meds than what I was on while I was there.
Trusting a mental illness in somebody else's hands is a very difficult thing. It is very hard to let someone else completely into your mind. Imagine having to open ALL your thoughts and bare your soul just so your mind can function properly. I don't completely trust doctors anyway. This is a very difficult thing for me.
The worst thing is the front I put on for everyone. Sometimes the ones closest to me can tell that something is off, but most of the time I hide things very well. I'm even learning to hide things from myself. What is that saying about me?
