Why We Moved To Raymond

Ron left today. My sweetheart works up north for two weeks, then he comes home for a week. I always feel pretty down the day after he leaves. Now for the reason I moved back to Raymond.

Family

My mom called me this morning to ask about something and realized I was having an off day. She didn't try to cheer me up, she didn't ask what was wrong, she left me alone. Exactly what I needed today. All I needed someone to call to let me know they care. I have the best family in the whole world.

This weekend we had a family get-together. Jesse and Michelle flew over from Wales and we really enjoyed the visiting time with them. The only people missing was most of Dale's family and all of Curtis' family. I'm glad Lynette came anyway.

I Love Sundays

Sundays are my day. I love the peace and comfort that comes with the Sabbath. Today in Relief Society we sang Be Still My Soul. Sometimes my soul has a very hard time being still.

I'm coming down from my mania this week, but coming down is almost as bad as going into one. And, I can look forward to a down sometime this week. Always, always, always, a low follows the high. So at least today I can be weepy while my soul becomes still.

Ron comes home this week. I always have a rougher time the Sunday before he comes home. I don't want to wait another day, I want him home today.

I have a very busy week coming up, so I'll let today be my 'still' day.

Actually, I remember there was a time when I had one event during the week, and I considered that a busy week. I would stress and fuss until the event was over, then I felt I could relax and get on with my life. Wow, how times have changed for me. I actually have something going on every day. For me that is really, really huge. I am leaving my house for something EVERY DAY this week! Congratulations to me!

Weirdness and Acceptance

Sometimes I forget I'm bipolar. The other day I went to a movie highly recommended by a friend. I was so excited to see it. I watched all the trailers and read the reviews. I felt I was ready for an awesome experience.

It was terrible. I couldn't follow the story-line. That NEVER happens...well...almost never. It only happens when I am going into a mania. I was so oblivious that it was coming that I didn't even realize it. And to top it all off, I got lost on the way home.

ME LOST!!! Again, NEVER happens...well...almost never. I can recall only a couple of times I have gotten lost. Both times I was approaching a mania.

How come, after all these years of living with this disease, I cannot read the signs? I'm just living my life, blissfully, unaware (or trying to be unaware) that there is anything wrong with me.

THANK GOODNESS FOR FAMILY!!!! I was reminded that maybe I was going 'high' or 'low'. Duh. When this happened before, I would get so embarrassed, I would hide and not show my face for a couple of months. Not now. I am loved and accepted for who I am, and what I have. I cannot express my gratitude for that acceptance.

Stephanie Neilson

As I sit in my chair, deep in pain, feeling sorry for myself, I turn to the LDS website. I haven't been able to go to church today, so I feel I need some sort of lift. I click on the video. It is about forgiveness. I can relate. I've dealt much with forgivness. Then I click on another video. It is about a boys home which is non-LDS that received help from the church. Again, I can relate. I love to give to those in need.

Then I click on another video. My New Life with Stephanie Neilson. It is about a woman who was in an airplane crash and severely burned. She survived and now counts her blessings daily. I too am scarred, only my scars are not visible on the outside. I feel bad even comparing myself to her, she deals with so much each day. Stephanie's Blog

I'm grateful to Stephanie for making me realize that there are other things in life to be grateful for. For a husband who loves me. A beautiful son to fill my life where there would otherwise be emptiness. For parents who treasure me. For siblings who would do anything for me, and their spouses who have accepted and (I think) grown to love my eccentricities. For neices and nephews who allow their aunt to shower them with love, and return that love. For all the love that is shown me...

NOTHING TO SAY!!!

I created this blog because I ALWAYS have soooo much to say. Now I can think of absolutely NOTHING!!! WHAT!!! Anyone who knows me know I NEVER run out of things to say. It'll come, believe me, it will come. Stay tuned...